He had one of those small greek statue penises
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
