Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
