Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize