I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize