once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
