Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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