I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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