his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it's like iHOP with fire
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
