Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
