Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(925): View more from California

First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so. http://tfl.nu/lvgi

Replies (91) Good night (873) Bad night (9928)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.

(917): View more from New York City

Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads. (917): Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful. http://tfl.nu/kyyh

Replies (23) Good night (7516) Bad night (813)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

(636): View more from Missouri

anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls? (636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence http://tfl.nu/1u56

Replies (32) Good night (8862) Bad night (1116)
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(217): I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower? http://tfl.nu/o882

Replies (15) Good night (1001) Bad night (4051)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/j0gt

Replies (20) Good night (4690) Bad night (1112)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant http://tfl.nu/lnj1

Replies (40) Good night (5090) Bad night (1724)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here. http://tfl.nu/lsdl

Replies (5) Good night (2047) Bad night (775)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls. http://tfl.nu/u1ub

Replies (5) Good night (3180) Bad night (728)
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out. http://tfl.nu/m1u8

Replies (8) Good night (2274) Bad night (1265)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart http://tfl.nu/qpzs

Replies (8) Good night (636) Bad night (1487)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took http://tfl.nu/phka

Replies (6) Good night (1559) Bad night (557)
Favorite
(909): View more from California

Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(909): Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions http://tfl.nu/1fmr

Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (467)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window http://tfl.nu/ubwd

Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (598)
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life. http://tfl.nu/3lzm

Replies (2) Good night (324) Bad night (581)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.

(646): View more from New York

You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well. (646): You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response. http://tfl.nu/j3cp

Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (406)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard