Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
