dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.