Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo quero taco bell

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  (857): He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef (617): Yo quero taco bell http://tfl.nu/9ye7
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  humiliate her

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  (231): I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do? (810): humiliate her http://tfl.nu/wc6r
  Replies (1) Good night (1985) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?

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  (603): he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float? http://tfl.nu/0v16
  Replies (21) Good night (1027) Bad night (5317)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.

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  (860): Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/7lh2
  Replies (30) Good night (1684) Bad night (3850)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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  (734): Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month. http://tfl.nu/t4ti
  Replies (14) Good night (4575) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.

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  (360): I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/54bi
  Replies (14) Good night (1293) Bad night (3963)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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  (614): I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out. http://tfl.nu/60nc
  Replies (12) Good night (1506) Bad night (4566)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.

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  (207): just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries. http://tfl.nu/mz24
  Replies (3) Good night (3872) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

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  (570): she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time http://tfl.nu/kzmt
  Replies (11) Good night (3527) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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  (636): Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me. http://tfl.nu/3e5v
  Replies (9) Good night (1674) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!

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  (406): We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?! http://tfl.nu/cb95
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

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  (712): Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow? http://tfl.nu/ikca
  Replies (2) Good night (898) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

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  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (398) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake

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  (585): if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake http://tfl.nu/burq
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.

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  (605): I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help. http://tfl.nu/advt
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (398)

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