My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
