I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize