come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
