Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
