Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
