It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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