I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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