If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have tasted many bathrooms
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
