I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
