so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
