hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize