I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
