We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
