..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
