Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
