I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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