I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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