just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
