It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
