You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
