This is not my ceiling
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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