he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
