No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
