3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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