Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
