I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
