I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
