I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
