yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
