There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
