I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
