yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
high people should be assigned attendants
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
