Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize