at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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