he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
