Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
