I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
