it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
