i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
