Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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