So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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