this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
