anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i came on her dog
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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