I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize