Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
