you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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