Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
