He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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