i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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