I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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