Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize