No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
