I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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