And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Nicole vs. Life
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
