after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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