Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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