Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
