Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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